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Book of Buds: A beginners guide to marijuana

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Do the terms noob, and faggot ring any bells? Are you getting sick of not knowing what a shotgun is? Are you still trying to figure out how this so called "bong" works? Well, if so you probably fall under one of two categories. You are either simply a new smoker, or just retarded. But everyone has to learn at sometime in their life, so here is a good place to start. Welcome to the Book of Buds: A beginners guide to marijuana.


The Pot Smokers Etiquette

These are just some few helpful guidelines that any new toker should pick up on. As time progress's these rules should come naturally, but for know its good to know what your doing so you don't make an ass out of yourself at your next session.

1) The most important rule is: Thou shalt SHARE your weed! Don't smoke alone, if there are other people around. Let the others share in your smoke, even if you spend your last money on that weed. Even if you've sold your mother to be able to buy it. EVEN if you don't like the other people that much. There are no excuses. Nothing is worse than having to look at someone who's smoking a fatty all by himself. So don't be greedy.

2. The person who rolls the joint (no matter whose weed it is) gets to spark up the joint and gets first hits.

3. If the joint/bong is passed to you, don't smoke too much. A good rule is: puff, puff, pass!

4. After passing the pipe or bong around after taking your hit, always pass the lighter with the pipe or bong, never hold it and forget about it unless the bowl is cherry.

5. If someone rolls a nice joint, its good to give the person a compliment on his rolling skills...

6. If someone starts bogarting the bowl and starts using the excuse that it's okay for him to begirt it since it's his weed, this is definitely not cool. The punishment depends on the quality of the weed and how much he put in. (if it was real crappy and he was real cheap with it, then you bug on the person and rag on him :-)

7. If someone is too palsy to light the bowl (due to being too stoned or the person is just a retard :-) then they must relinquish control of the lighter to someone more able to get it lit. <--this does NOT mean the person who lights gets free hits... this privilege tends to get abused ("hey lemme light it for you...")

8. If someone is so much of a palsy that they blow INTO the bowl and blow all the shit on the floor, this person must be ragged on and the person can't smoke on the next round (unless it was his stuff)

9. If you smoke with someone in your house, you should let them eat some munchy food you may have lying around.. don't be cheap with your food if you have food...

10. If someone who's smoked asks for a sip of your soda, you must give him some.. (drymouth is not fun) (Note): if you ask for a sip, don't take a large gulp

11. If smoking from a bong or a joint, never put the whole thing in your mouth and get it all sopping wet.. it's disgusting and it messes up the joint.

12. If you're smoking from a bong and there's not enough in the bowl for a whole other hit, you should save the smoke in the chamber for the next person..(don't let go of the rushhold or 'carb' and take it all yourself)

13. Never bitch about someone else's weed being no good! If you don't like it don't smoke it!

14. If a friend gets you high sometime in the future you need to get that friend high

15. Thou shalt not turn down a smoke. Never!

16. If you buy weed from a friend or a friend of a friend, it is polite to roll a joint, (a small one, if you wish) and smoke with the person who sells you the stuff.

17. It is very impolite to hand someone an empty bowl, without notifying that person of it's possible cashed-ness. A proper warning would be 'Here ya go...I think it might be cashed.

18. The person who fills the bowl is given the opportunity to take the first hit. It doesn't matter who's bowl it is. Unless of course, they request you take the first hit.

19. Always remember to thank a person who has gotten you high.

20. When using a bong, DON'T blow out the ashes, unless that's what the "homeowner" does.

21. NEVER go to someone's house EXPECTING them to get you stoned. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule...

22. If you spill the bong, clean it up! (And don't forget to put water back in it!!)

23. When the roach gets too small, if someone has a problem with it, it is common courtesy here to put the roach in a bowl and finish it that way.. that way the people who don't mind burning their fingers don't get it all.

24. Do not, I repeat do not smoke your pet out if he is under 5 lbs. Because you do not want to kill your pet, unless it deserves to die, in which I can't think of a pet that does.

25. Do not lie about the amount you have smoked in the past if someone asks you.

26. When you take your tokes no matter how big they are, do not cough out all the smoke, because all you are doing is wasting that person's bud.

27. If you have major munchies, do not eat all the food at person's house you are at, after all, he has to pay for the shit.

28. If you are selling someone weed, don't lie about the amount you are selling or the kind of weed that's in the bag.

29. Do not always bum people for weed, it is not cool unless they are willing to give you some.

30. If you have a resinated pipe, do not smoke tobacco in it. Because that is just fucking stupid.

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